Wednesday, January 16, 2008
I shldn't have treated her that way, Now i feel worse than lonely. My frenz have their loved ones to care for them. In their own way wateva it is. And i lost the one girl that cared for me like never before...I took so long to realise that she's the one for me. Now i lost her and she's never coming back. She took with her my heart and i don't think i can live for long to survive her absence. With her around everything is manageable and perfect. Without her everything is falling apart. I missed her so much that i could have sleepwalked to her bedroom. I loved her so much that i feel my heart isn't big enuf to fit her in. All day i think of her, all night i dream of her more than ever b4. The truth sinks in very fast and very shockingly. I couldn't react...she made me feel so weak inside. As a man it feels terrible, i never felt more in need of her as ever b4. The time when she's missing i went to look for her everywhere. Called her smsed her, would have went to her home until she replied. Different from other days. She seemed CAREless. She totally disregard my feelings, her tone is like "WHATEVA" and it really breaks my heart. Finally i felt what love is. Finally i've been hurt to the extent of damaging my soul. I felt it once again after so long. Once b4 i loved someone with all my heart but was ignored totally. Once i loved someone hu doesn't loved me the same. And now the only person i can picture myself being married to, having children with dissapears into the abiss...If i could do anything at all to change what have been done. I would. If i can turn back time, i'd remove all unhappiness from her life, replace them with unforgetable memories. I'd love her so much that she'd think i was unreal. I regretted not being there for her...always bz with school, frenz and games. I was trying to provide a better future for both of us baby, as for my frenz they have some of the good and bad influences on me. As for my games, i could do without them if only i could see u every day. If only i can feel u everyday. Time will change but my heart will forever remain urs...until baby, u find someone else to replace me...which i hope never happen...coz if it does, then i lost the will to live. Im sori if i irritated u this past few weeks, but thats only because i don't want to let u go. I fear loosing u. I fear i won't move on without u...If i change how could i show it to u??? i want u to know that im a changed man now, and i want to be given a chance to undo my mistakes...But its up to u :'( i love u so much that everything i do...i do it for u. I LOVE u Junaidah...i hope u still love me to...
crawling back to you
Wednesday, January 16, 2008 <3
.:LoveMe:.
