Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Here i am in school doing nothing and feeling down. I can't explain why i'm like this...never felt ever so lonoely before, or have i? I keep thinking of the future i want to have but not doing anything about it. I love someone so dearly that if she's not here i would die.
I think of her every single day before i go to sleep and before i wake up to a new day. Sometimes i stare into nothingness and find myself in a dream. Nothing seems right without her. Nothing seems wrong with her. She made me feel so 'CARED' and meaningful. She is more precious than any diamond or pearl. If i ever lost her...i'd lose myself and everything that made me...me.
The day i didn't want to come is finally here. The day i'm gona lose the one's i love...again. It hurts alot but no tears can ever replace the pain. Why is this happening again? Why haven't i learnt my lesson? It feels as if my heart is delibrately made a fool of. I'm torn between telling her the truth and risk loosing everything.
crawling back to you
Tuesday, November 28, 2006 <3
.:LoveMe:.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Over the past few years, I've tried to forget the past but it came hunting me back in my dreams. I thought i'd never forget her, I used to think i've gotten over her but i realised i was fooling myself.
But i'm sure now i'm over her. Because finally someone who can replace her momento. Someone i never thought that i'd ever feel this way for ever again. She made me realise i've been missing something in my life all along. All this time trying very hard to forget i fail to notice people who cares.
A mutual friend becomes a forbidden lover. Someone who i can only dream of being with. Its kinda sad to say that every time i found love...i'll bound to loose it. I'm afraid to do alot of stuff, i'm afraid to take risk.
Lesson learnt over the past few years is never to let my guard down even for one second. It's very rare for me to fall in love more than once, that is why i seldom socialise. Afraid that i might one day be hurt again.
But now weird feelings start to surface. Feeling of insecurity, jealousy, joy and alot of other stuff mixed up in one element. Sometimes i just wish i could say I LOVE U. But to think of the consequences and wat if's and the future, fills me with doubt.
I no longer know what im doing. I'm not in control of wat i feel. I don't want to loose people I care most. This feeling kills me the longer i keep. But i can't bring myself to say it. For alot of reasons i know and don't. I can be sure that im falling... If only I know how she feels...
crawling back to you
Sunday, November 26, 2006 <3
.:LoveMe:.
Monday, November 20, 2006
It seems so unfair to me
It happens over and over again
When will I learn my lesson
And stop being everyones friend
I havent learned my lesson
I think its about time I do
Because I've fallen so hard I can't believe it's true
I wasn't honest in my feelings towards you
I knew that it could never be
The reason I know that u ask
Is because that is the life of me
Truly caring about someone
And then being rejected
I have to say its not that easy
I have to keep my heart protected
So now we left it at "lets be friends"Nothing new at all
As I sit here day and night
Just waiting for that phone call
Well I'm done waiting
And I can't promise to be your friend
One promise I will make though
Is that I will love you till the end
crawling back to you
Monday, November 20, 2006 <3
.:LoveMe:.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
Hey! its me on the 1st day of raya hahaha All blue babe hehehe. Went to not that alot of houses but still alright ar tak mendak sangat.
Idah looking as sweet as ever on the 1st day of raya hehehe.
crawling back to you
Wednesday, November 08, 2006 <3
.:LoveMe:.
Love is always patient and kind,
It is never jealous.
Love is never boastful nor conceited,
It is never rude or selfish,
It does not take offence,
And it is not resentful.
Love takes no pleasure in other peoples sin,
Their delight and the truth,
It is always ready to excuse,
to trust, to hope
& to endure
Whatever comes
crawling back to you
Wednesday, November 08, 2006 <3
.:LoveMe:.
Hey! its me on the 1st day of raya hahaha All blue babe hehehe. Went to not that alot of houses but still alright ar tak mendak sangat.
Idah looking as sweet as ever on the 1st day of raya hehehe.