This picture is exactly how i pictured she would be in my dreams...
This is just another picture i thot she looked nice in that's all
Life is unpredictable one moment you lost everything and another you got all you wisheed for. Last 2 weeks i was sick...almost felt like dying and feeling lonely. Lepak with my frenz and felt much beta. Didn't count on recieving a plesant surprise. We were calling the people we loved and missedand i happen to think of hannah. Sanwan urged me to call her and ask how she was doing? But i thot otherwise since we have never talked for a long time it would feel crazy and awkward.
But in the end i did call meab becoz deep inside i was hoping she'd pickup. She never did so yeah you know hw that feels. Twce i called and both times she ignored my calls. Iknew it was meant to be at that point of time. So i let it be. In my heart feeling dreadful and more alone than ever...
We all got into the lift and was on our way up to Sanwan's place to watch soccer when my phone rang. I was jolted so i went to see who called. To my surprise hannah called! I was a little nervous at 1st but i still manage fine :) The sound of her voice was a little irritating at 1st but it was okay. Later that nite she called and we talked then i remembered the real hannah i loved. The reason why i loved her.
Today she uploaded her pics they were nothing special except one. ONe portrait really intrigue me. The picture was exactly the face i remembered the 1st time i met her in Loyang. That was an event i can never forget. Coz it was the beginning of a beautiful love story...
crawling back to you
Monday, May 28, 2007 <3
.:LoveMe:.
Dear blog,
It's been awhile since i updated my blog. But what does it matter rite? Nobody is interested to view it anyway? What i thought would happen is happening again. People i love keeps dissapearing from my life sowly and indefintely. Why is this always happening? Am i suc a hrrible person to be able to love anyone? I can't understand, of all people why me? Why issit me that has to suffer all this pain.
Someone dear told me yesterday that it's a surprise that i can care that much 4 anyone? is that fair? I question myself, is that true? am i that evil, ignorant till i have to hear it by someone i love? People can never love me can they?
Even if i get to know them alot better, infact knowing almost everything about them also doesn't necessarily mean they can love u.
Making them laugh, keeping them happy and encouraging them to work towards their dreams, all the support and the time given and spent will not necessarily show them how much they mean to u...even telling them u love them may nt be enough to make them believe. Why are all good men treated this way? why do i have to be one of them? I have loved and lost so many times that it's starting to change me. It's starting to change me into a heartless human with no compassion and alot of anger.
I wish i was loved by those i loved but as fate tells me, it will never come true. My life is meant to be spent all alone all by myself for the rest of my life. Sad as i tmay seem but im beginning to believe tat's true. If only they love me, if only they see what i can offer them. Unconditional love with faithfulness and comassion. Maeb its too late to do anything now...love is never meant for me. Goodbye my lover...
crawling back to you
Sunday, May 13, 2007 <3
.:LoveMe:.
This picture is exactly how i pictured she would be in my dreams...
This is just another picture i thot she looked nice in that's all