Dear blog,
It's been awhile since i updated my blog. But what does it matter rite? Nobody is interested to view it anyway? What i thought would happen is happening again. People i love keeps dissapearing from my life sowly and indefintely. Why is this always happening? Am i suc a hrrible person to be able to love anyone? I can't understand, of all people why me? Why issit me that has to suffer all this pain.
Someone dear told me yesterday that it's a surprise that i can care that much 4 anyone? is that fair? I question myself, is that true? am i that evil, ignorant till i have to hear it by someone i love? People can never love me can they?
Even if i get to know them alot better, infact knowing almost everything about them also doesn't necessarily mean they can love u.
Making them laugh, keeping them happy and encouraging them to work towards their dreams, all the support and the time given and spent will not necessarily show them how much they mean to u...even telling them u love them may nt be enough to make them believe. Why are all good men treated this way? why do i have to be one of them? I have loved and lost so many times that it's starting to change me. It's starting to change me into a heartless human with no compassion and alot of anger.
I wish i was loved by those i loved but as fate tells me, it will never come true. My life is meant to be spent all alone all by myself for the rest of my life. Sad as i tmay seem but im beginning to believe tat's true. If only they love me, if only they see what i can offer them. Unconditional love with faithfulness and comassion. Maeb its too late to do anything now...love is never meant for me. Goodbye my lover...
crawling back to you
Sunday, May 13, 2007 <3
.:LoveMe:.
