Sunday, November 26, 2006
Over the past few years, I've tried to forget the past but it came hunting me back in my dreams. I thought i'd never forget her, I used to think i've gotten over her but i realised i was fooling myself.
But i'm sure now i'm over her. Because finally someone who can replace her momento. Someone i never thought that i'd ever feel this way for ever again. She made me realise i've been missing something in my life all along. All this time trying very hard to forget i fail to notice people who cares.
A mutual friend becomes a forbidden lover. Someone who i can only dream of being with. Its kinda sad to say that every time i found love...i'll bound to loose it. I'm afraid to do alot of stuff, i'm afraid to take risk.
Lesson learnt over the past few years is never to let my guard down even for one second. It's very rare for me to fall in love more than once, that is why i seldom socialise. Afraid that i might one day be hurt again.
But now weird feelings start to surface. Feeling of insecurity, jealousy, joy and alot of other stuff mixed up in one element. Sometimes i just wish i could say I LOVE U. But to think of the consequences and wat if's and the future, fills me with doubt.
I no longer know what im doing. I'm not in control of wat i feel. I don't want to loose people I care most. This feeling kills me the longer i keep. But i can't bring myself to say it. For alot of reasons i know and don't. I can be sure that im falling... If only I know how she feels...
crawling back to you
Sunday, November 26, 2006 <3
.:LoveMe:.
