I've finally found someone i trully love and who trully loves me i'm gonna make her the hapiest girl ion this world stating from now. Mark this day onwards.
crawling back to you
Saturday, May 14, 2011 <3
.:LoveMe:.
Its unbelievable that every girl that walk into my life all walk out on me. How sad is that? :( very depressing, i can't even begin to describe how i feel rite now. 2 days not hearing her voice can drive me up the wall and now she leave for god knows how long...Why does it have to happen? Why do i have to fall in love with her, to all of them and then be left by them? Why does it always have to be me who suffers? God hate me so much that his doing this to me? Or issit the whole worlds' plot o make me feel alone? U guys don't have to go through all that trouble man, just kill me or tell me to kill myself i'd gladly do it. I can't take this anymore. Is my fate trully to be alone? fuck this world....
crawling back to you
Friday, June 26, 2009 <3
.:LoveMe:.
Many have been asking me lately, who am i seeing. Hahaha truth be spoken i'm not seeing anyone or haven't yet :D Well it's complicated even if i can explain, u won't understand. But there is a girl who stole my heart. Well she can keep it coz i want her to take it ;) its been sometime since i feel this way so yah i'm enjoying it before some other shit happens. Oh yes i noe its coming just donnoe when. Future with this girl, to me its fair but to the whole world it might be a storm. To her? Nobody knows. But what's important is i found someone to acompany me on my lonely journey towards salvation. If she's the one then i'm grateful, if she's not then i'll try again. In the game of love, one must not give up. For love comes when least expected. So i hope you guys wish me luck hopefully it goes well ;)
crawling back to you
Sunday, May 03, 2009 <3
.:LoveMe:.
Haiz...I knew its coming, and now it has come and go. The 1st time i read i couldn't believe she wrote an email to me. But i guess it'll do :( She's attached with a new guy whom i suppose is that chinese guy she talked about all this while. I'm sad for myself but happy for her. She felt it was the right thing to do, being with me again seems inapropriate. But she still loves me. Crazy as it seems but i believe her. Some things u can't control, no matter what u do, no matter how hard u try, if it doesn't change, it won't change. I hope she lives happily ever after. As for me, now is not the time too worry bout relationships...need to get back on track and move on. I'm just an unlucky motherfucker caught up in between a tsunami and a hurricane. Either way i'm still a gonner. Searching for the one? Never stopped just paused, and at every stop perception changes. Maeb she's out there somewhere, looking for me but i've not shown up yet. If i find her, i'll be sure to never let her go. It's just a matter of when, not so soon i guess but one day. To whom it may concern, thank you for giving me the opportunity to love and be loved the way i always dreamed. Unfortunately, i would have to break my promise, i apologise for that. AS for now, i could only do 1 thing for you, to dissapear from ur life. With that my love may we not see each other ever again...
PS: I LOVE YOU for the last time
crawling back to you
Sunday, October 26, 2008 <3
.:LoveMe:.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
There is a girl whom i've never met,
With the swittest smile i've ever seen,
And the cutest laughter ive ever heard,
Eversince she came into my life,
I've never stopped smiling,
Call me crazy hehe maybe its true,
Maybe i'm crazy about you,
It makes no sense what i am feeling,
How could anyone make me feel this way,
She's just someone i got to know,
Even so i can't deny,
She makes me feel all tingling inside,
Can it be i'm falling for her?
Or maeb i've fallen for her.
crawling back to you
Saturday, September 20, 2008 <3
.:LoveMe:.
Danm! Sunday field camp, gonna suck big time :( gonna miss alot of stuff. I hope time past very quickly coz 6 days without bathing can stink big time lol. I heard we're digging some grave for ourselves to fit in *irony*. Shooting some blanks hehehe. 8KM route march! sian.
Well atleast one good thing comes out of all these. I don't think too much. do and forget. Need to distract myself from thinkoing too much :D. tomorrow book in 5.55pm haiz can't enjoy life nowadays hahaha. Lucky for me i met some good frenz to help me out :D well then nutin much to say now hope to return home next week in 1 piece ;) haha
crawling back to you
Friday, August 08, 2008 <3
.:LoveMe:.
I went home yesterday at 8pm from Tekong. What a relief from all those titring training. Fuck Tekong i wish i never have to go back there agian but then everyone must go so what the hell. Anyway i came back home and went online, Idah was online to but we didn't talk much as i made a point to not bothere her anymore. She needs time so i give her all the time in the world, truthfully speaking i don't think she'd ever want to get back with me. But i still lovc her nonetheless.
Skipping to the next part of the story i watched some anime's before i can't keep myself awake so i went to sleep at 12am. I woke up at 11 today was such a refreshing state. Never slept so well for the past 2 weeks. Got problems with the com today so didn't get to come online early, not that there's any reason to anyway. Going to get myself a phone and a prepaid to use in camp. Once got that i need someone to call though hahaha. That would be a harder problem to solve. Since there's no other girls that cares bout me. But i'll find some i guess.
I really need inspiration to get through this BMT. The mental torture is killing me. I just want it to be over with. I got my own life to lead. Was thinkning of signing on airforce lets just see what's in store for me. Just have some problems passing IPPT, pullup and 2.4km run. Slowly ill do beta i hope. well then tht is it so anything guys u know where to reach me.
crawling back to you
Saturday, July 26, 2008 <3
.:LoveMe:.
Dear Sayang,
I'm sorry to bother u, but i can't stop myself. I've not been myself lately, most of the time i'd be thinking of u. I cry myself to sleep every night thinking bout u. I don't know if u're thinking of me probably u're thinking of him. Yes i know u're attached now :( But i'm still restless. My heart won't rest peacefully until I hear it from u. Do u love him more than me? Are u happy with him than me? Have u totally lost the love for me? So many question but no definite answer.
Do u remember the time we spent together at Suntec foountain of wealth? We ate subway and stared at the beautiful sky together not worrying when to go home? That was the best day of my life. Or the time i taught u how to play pool? The time i fetched u from u're prom night? The special bear u gave me for my birthday? The brownie u made for me? Our first kiss? 2 years is a long time sayang, but it means nothing without content. What we went through 2 years is priceless to me, i'd never trade anything for it. I never wanted it to end. I guess muy ego got the better of me. U made me realise i've always loved u. Even now when u're with someone else i still love u.
U remember wat we promised? To be together forever? If we found a replacement we'd tell each other? I never could find a replacement for u sayang. Even when i'm with someone else, all i could think of was u baby, i'm loving u more than any human could. I'm loving u so much that it hurts to know u're with someone else :'( Baby please come back. NS is calling and its terrifying me. I want to spend more time with u. Please let me have you to come home to. U're my life, without u, i don't have any reason to live :''(
Love Farhan
crawling back to you
Saturday, June 14, 2008 <3
.:LoveMe:.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Dear blog,
Life has never been more challenging. Stress? i don't think so. I guess dissapointment is part of me. Never fails to stick to me everywhere i go. From myself to the people around me. Maybe it can't be helped, we are human by the way. I made a mistake of trusting people again. One mistake i took high precaution to avoid in the end i trusted the wrong people. With that i lost the love of my life, my passion for soccer, and my frenz. I sacrificed all of them because i trusted too few people too much.
I hate it when im right. Assumption is never advisable but my predictions always hits the spot. I never thought the one person i truly believe in would make the same mistake he swore never to make. All because of a girl, what else. 1st San Wan then him. And ironicly i'm always stuck in the middle. I don't wish to, trust me, being the cause of everything bad is not something to be proud of. And to think that i supported his decision, i even helped him to get THE girl. Although not the girl of his dreams but atleast someone for him to start of with. Maybe then San Wan was not around to give his opinion on things but not to blame him, he's caught in his own deep shit. Without the confidence of his friend they would not even be together. And now she hates us? not that i care coz she is a nobody but to let him choose between frenz or her? wahdu3 who does she think she is? And he can entertain all this without any actions? Come on la bro, what does it takes to show you that enough is enough? After all this and u still think she's the one for u? DANM U ARE BLIND! Maybe u all think i don't really matter ar in all this or insignificant in any of this but hey i sacrificed too much to be dissapointed like this. If i wasn't clear then, well now im making it CRYSTAL clear.
Who cares now rite? nobody does, like everyone else i've known before they come and goes. Who gives a shit about me rite? But think it in a positive way ar ehk, this way u guys will be much more happier trust me. No soccer so she won't complain we take aaway her time with u. No chilling so she won't accuse us of corrupting u. U can spend the whole time in the world with her, only her. No need to spend time crack ur head when to meet frenz when to meet gerl. Stress free situation because we are ur frenz we would do that. Since she is so indecisive to let u go or to keep u around, well consider this our gift. Personally, i think u guys spend too much time together that there is no room to breathe but what the heck that's just me. Once a week would be sufficient so u guys won't go for each other's throats all the time. But again this is just a strangers advice do what ever u think is best nobody's gonna question u guys.
And about that day we 'TON' at cityhall we were hoping u would like to share what happen and what's gonna happen. But ofcourse we called and u didn't pick up so many times and all u can do is message us saying "ako tak meet korang nari". Fair enough that's a bummer then we got to know u meet her? Seems like u made ur choice so yah we understand perfectly. There's nothing more to say here. So if u think u can understand how i feel now? Good for u. Now u leave me with nothing, i have no love, no friends, no hobbies, all because i hoped brothers stay strong united. And i learned the hard way, what a mistake that is...thanks eh :)
Truthfully
Bungkos
crawling back to you
Monday, February 25, 2008 <3
.:LoveMe:.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
U noe...i didn't ask u to read my entries. I don't really care what u think of me. I live a care free life, if u think ur life is wonderful by all means SHUT THE FUCK UP! Nobody wants to noe REALY! But if u think ur gonna break friendships here's a heads up. U may be happy with him, but doesn't mean he's happy with u. So if u really meant what u said...then i expect u to be dead capiche?
P.S: To whom it may concern get ur facts right before jumping to conclusions!
crawling back to you
Wednesday, February 20, 2008 <3
.:LoveMe:.
